can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
