i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
