He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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