I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
