Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
