Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
