I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
