You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
