you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
