Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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