ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize