Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize