Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
