oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
