Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
