We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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