So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
