If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
