When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
