can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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