The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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