i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
