So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I look better un-naked...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
