sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
