Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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