dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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