I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
