On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
