so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
