I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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