Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize