Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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