summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I need moral support for this bender
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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