I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
