I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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