Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
