i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize