She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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