I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
