my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize