I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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