Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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