So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
