all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
