Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
