Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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