oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
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i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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