then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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