he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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