I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
