ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
