ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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