Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
