just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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