So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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