hell yes lets make some ravioli
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
