Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
