Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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