she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
