I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
