So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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