So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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