Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
